Love me even if it hurts
by xXthatoneinsanechickXx
Summary: "Stay. Don't leave me. Hold me tight and never let me go. I need you. I need your love. I could die without you. Don't shut the door. Never leave. Your mine and mine alone. Love me even if it hurts." (Trigger warning. Mentions of blood, cutting, mild language and sexual themes. You have been warned.) [Aokise one shot]


The joy in his heart, it couldn't be put into words. The beautiful sunset divided into the mountains, brightening up the atmosphere as the two stood on the bridge hand in hand. The beautiful sunset colours reached from sky to sky giving him a calm feeling.  
"Kise." He called the boys last name.  
"It has been great knowing you." He smiled and said as his eyes never left the blondes golden eyes. Kise smiled grasping the bluenettes hand tighter.  
"What do you mean Aominecchi?" He beams. "Of course it has been a great time. But where are you going?" he asks a quizzical look plastered on his face. With that, Aomine's smile dropped.

"Well.. The school year is ending soon and I will be moving." He said facing the blonde as he tried to put on a smile to cover the sadness he felt. Kise was crying. He didn't notice it though. The fake smile that was seen nationwide through magazines was plastered onto his face as if on instinct. It was natural to just have that look. Blinking a few times after letting the shock settle in, he finally notices the hot tears that were streaking down his cheeks and leaving trails in their wake.

"O-oh hahah sorry Aominecchi!" He smiles again but this time it wavers. Aomine's eyes widened as he saw tears stream down his loved ones face.

"Kise.." He whispered, the look in his eyes softened. He let go of Kise's hand, using his thumb to wipe the tears away. "I will come back for you okay? I promise." He says trying to reassure Kise but mostly himself. Will he be able to commit to the steady relationship while he is towns away?

"Y-yeah! That's right!" He tries for a smile again, the tears still flowing freely. What little hold he had on his sanity was slipping and he knew it. He was going to lose it. He was going to really cry. He was going to scream. But for Aomine's sake, he didn't. He didn't scream, he didn't wail and he just kept it in and he felt like bursting. Wiping the ever flowing tears with a sleeve. "H-h-haha! Sorry Aominecchi!" He says, trying to laugh it off this time but it comes out as a choked sob as he slowly losses his control.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Aomine whispered into the blonde's ear as he wrapped his arms around him. Using a hand to rub the small of the crying blondes back in an attempt to calm him down. "I'll visit you, call you, take you out for the food you want and attend to your modelling shows as much as I can. I promise." He coos out affectionately as he squeezes the sobbing blonde into his chest.

"B-but you w-wont be here!" Kise wails into Aomine's shirt. His chest was so tight and it ached so badly. He laughed silently to himself. 'Is this how bad it hurts to have a broken heart? Am I broken hearted? I probably am. Wow look at me.' He muses to himself. 'I must look horrible to Aominecchi. Come on. Suck it up Ryouta.' He thinks as he tries to control the sobs to no avail. First, it hurt to see the 6 of them separating to go to other schools, then Kuroko didn't want to transfer to his school and instead chose to stick with a no-name school Seirin. After that, he gets kicked out of the Inter-school games and now, hes losing Aomine. This was the last straw for him. Thinking about all of that made him cry harder, his wails and sobs getting louder with each passing minute. Aomine stayed silent throughout this and simply held Kise closer to him, softly mumbling words of comfort into his ear. He didn't know it would effect Kise that much and he felt horrible doing so. Looking back, all he thought he meant to Kise was simply an accessory. A new bag to be thrown away after he was broken. After all. Kise was a superstar. He could get any woman OR man to do what he wanted. And what was he? An nobody next to him. He actually envied him. Even in the tiniest ways even if he wouldn't admit it, he wanted that. To be liked by everyone. But unfortunately.. The new school he was entering… Touou Academy, was a powerhouse for basketball and he was sure that he would be able to fulfil his dream of maybe someday playing basketball for real in the MBA. He looked at Kise. He wanted to say something. Anything to let Kise know that he wants to be there yet his mouth betrays him.

"…I-" Kise manages out before choking on his own words and falling back into a fit of sobbing. "C-can't you stay? Can't you not go? Y-you… You could come to my school-ssu!" He cries out desperately, tear stained cheeks buried into Aomine's warm broad chest, the warmth that Kise found comforting yet so nostalgic. Kise felt like he was drowning and hated that Aomine was the one to cause it. Aomine bit his lip hard. He couldn't stay. He knew that. He already bought his uniform and books.. And besides. He couldn't afford to go to the school that Kise was attending anyway. But looking at the blonde model crying, because of HIM, it hurt him to leave. Especially if he leaves him like this.

"Kise… I… I'll try okay?" He whispers in a soft tone feeling his jersey soaked in tears. Kise nodded slowly but accepted the fact that Aomine was leaving him.

"Stay with me tonight." He whispers quietly. "Stay with me then leave me in the morning. Just like how you are gonna leave me." Thinking about it, he shakes his head. 'I can screw pretending. I never needed it around Aomine. Why the difference now?' He thought as his sobs softened somewhat with the help of the soothing hand behind his back to soft but sharp intakes of breath. Aomine heated it. He hated how he had to leave. He hated when Kise acted this way. He hated himself for pushing Kise to the limits. He hated how he had to end it like this. Heart heaving heavily, he agreed.

"Fine. I will. Tonight, tomorrow. I will hold you tight till I have to go." He gave Kise a weak smile. Hearing his sharp intakes of breath only made him feel worse. Kise nods slowly. He felt as though his heart was just ripped out of his chest. Pulling away from the taller bluenette, he walks slowly to the edge of the bridge. "Hey Aomine? I appreciate the amount of patience your putting into me seeing as you're not one to deal with these kind of things. You don't take any bullshit do you?" Kise asks narrowing his eyes. "You made me a promise remember." Kise says smiling a little his eyes half lidded. 'Crap!' Aomine's eyes widened slightly. 'Its happening again!'

_"Aominneeeeeeeeeccchiiiiiiiiii! Im hooooommmeeeee! Who was that girl in the corridor half naked?" 'Oh no.' "Kise? Is that you? Where are you?" He calls out. It was so sudden. 'Okay. The lights in the house flicked off and she… She went to go fix it. And now Kise is home?' "Yes Aominecchi! Where are you?" He raised his eyebrow at the question. "Im in the bedroom Kise. Why?" _

_"Oh no reason. Its just… I made a mess in the kitchen." Kise stepped out from the shadows and he was smiling, his eyes half lidded… And covered in blood. _

_"O-Oi Kise? I-is that blood? W-why are you holding a knife? A-and w-what is that in your hand?" He stutters out, his eyes wide open. He watched in shock as Kise licked the knife clean of blood on one side and smirk. _

_"Aomine Aomine Aomine. When will you learn when I say to not bring home any other girl or guy?" Came the sing song voice again. Taking a step closer, Aomine could SMELL the unmistakable scent of blood. He wanted to puke due to the smell yet he was terrified to even move yet alone speak. _

_"K-ki-Kise? What happened to you?" He whispers quietly. _

_"Oh don't worry Aominecchi! This isn't MY blood." He smiles broadly, shutting his eyes. "Its HERS."_

"Y-yeah! I remember. Don't worry about it okay?" He says taking a few shaky steps towards the blonde. " I-ill definitely come back to visit you! I'll.. I'll even ask my parents to see if I can change school okay? I promise!" He shouts, finally reaching the blonde to wrap his arms around him. This seemed to have brought Kise back to his senses as he wrapped his arms around Aomine's neck as well.

"You wont forget about me right?" Kise asks sadly into Aomine's hug. Aomine died a little on the inside hearing the sadness in his loved ones voice.

"Never. I'll never forget you." Kise sighed contently at those words, fake or not, he was happy for now. Aomine smiled, which he rarely did but now he knows that all Kise needs right now was just some strength which at least for the time being he could provide. He gave the blonde a curt nod, indicating that he would keep his promise. Humming softly to himself, Kise turns around and smiles a sad smile. "So. My place or yours?" He asks Aomine as he grabs his book bag off the ground.

"Whichever one that you please." He smiles holding onto the blondes hand. 'Smile more. Kise would love that.' He notes to himself seeing the blonde trying to cheer up. And besides. Anywhere was fine as long as he was with Kise.

"My place then. My parents are out and its closer here anyway." He says softly, shoulders sagging a little from the hurt but he kept up his usual demeanour for Aomine's sake. The bluenette nodded, following the blonde male to his house where he would usually hang out after school if they didn't have basketball practise. It was almost like his second home. Upon arriving at his house, Kise takes a deep breath and smiles brightly though it's not a genuine one.

"There we go!" He chirps happily, fitting the key into the lock, nodding as he hears the sound of the door unlocking. Being a part time model had its perks. His apartment was modest but in a big part of Tokyo where most of his magazine shoots normally took place.

"Ah Aominecchi, you know where to leave your bags. Would you like anything to eat?" Kise asks with a smile on his face. His eyes wre still red and puffy and it was honestly not a good look on him but he still tried anyway.

He thought about it and realized that he hadn't eaten all day since 8 in the morning and its 6 in the evening. The corners of his lips pulled up into a smirk as he walked over to Kise after putting his bags down. "You offering to cook?"

Nodding, the blonde quickly rushes to the kitchen. "What would you like to eat Aominecchi?" He calls out, the clanging of pots and pans audible from the kitchen.

"You." And in a flash, the bluenette was behind him as he pulled his arms around the blonde, taking his strawberry shampoo. "You smell good." He whispers from behind him. Kise shuddered and whimpered but forced himself to whisper out something inaudible at first. "Huh?" Aomine quirks, as he leaned in closer to the blonde.

"I said, I meant food Daiki." Kise mumbles again. Aomine seductively whispered bask as he had his hands moving towards the blondes chest. "You, maybe as my dinner."

"Daiki…" He inhales sharply as he felt the hands. Specifically Aomine's hands roaming his chest like they have several times before.

"Hmm?" The bluenette had a sly grin on his face upon hearing his name. "Is there anything wrong love?" He mumbles kissing the blondes neck.

"You don't know how much I want to kiss you right now. How much I just want to kiss you senseless right now. But I cant. Because your leaving and your never coming back. Don't think I don't know what you want Daiki. You want to be a famous basketballer. And I'm okay with that. I want you to be happy. But I'm not happy with the fact that the only times I'll ever be able to see you again is if we play together in tournaments. And another reason I can't kiss you is because then I'd miss it too much because there is just no one who can kiss like you!" He cries out, pressing back against the warm chest behind his back. Aomine sighed. He longed for the blonde's lips to meet his, just for one long goodbye kiss. But the blonde did make sense. Teardrops ran down his face like a marathon. Sniffling, he bit his lip to shut himself up from making any unmanly sounds.

"G-goodbyes like this… hurt the most." He confessed, holding on to Kise's shirt tightly, leaning his head on Kise's back as he sobbed into it, drenching it with his tears as visible marks formed on the shirt. "I want you…. But then I'd miss you too much."

Tears of his own fell down his face as well as he held Aomine close, lip trembling as he silently cried with Aomine . "I love you you know that?" He sniffles quietly. "But… Just one last kiss couldn't hurt right?" He mumbles into the bluenettes hair. With that, Aomine's last walls came tumbling down. He knew it would hurt a lot for him. But for the fragile blonde? He was scared that the model would lose it.

"I-i.. I don't know.." He whispered softly to the blonde. Something in Kise turned off.

"Aomine.." He whispers. He wasn't used to losing. He wasn't used to rejection. And from that moment, he decided that he HATED rejection. He wouldn't stand for it and COULDN'T stand for it. Being hurt, he had the urge to HURT Aomine badly. So badly that he would never ever forget it. Those were the kind of thoughts that ran through his head but he shoved them back with only one method. The one method he knew best. And he had to do it quick before something bad happens. Balling his hands into a fist, he uncurls himself from Aomine's embrace and runs to his room and fishes out a small box covered in black silk.

Aomine stared onto the floor not knowing what to do. He felt bad that he had to leave, even worse now that Kise hated him. Or that's how he interpreted the blondes actions anyway. He opened his mouth but closed it soon after. He felt unwanted. Turning the doorknob with heart in his hands, he walked out of the apartment but not before leaving a note saying:

'_I died a little more each time I saw you cry. But tonight, I felt everything that I lived for was gone. I didn't want to kiss you because it would hurt too much. I'm sorry. I love you._'

When he heard the door click shut, that's when he lost it. Wailing his heart out, he screamed and kicked everything loose in his way. Pausing to grab at a small but polished blade in the small box, he picks it up and examines it. "Heh.. Long-time no see buddy…" He whispers to the himself as he pushes up his sleeves, exposing his perfect skin, the only things marring him, the scars of old still staining his perfect complexion.

"He loves me." One cut.

"He loves me not." Two cuts.

"He loves me." Three cuts.

"He loves me not." Four cuts.

"He.. Loves… me…" Fifteen cuts. Kise watched in fascination as the blood dripped and pooled onto the floor. But none of it hurt.

"Hahaha! I forgot how dizzy I can be after doing this! Oops did I do too much? No! It's perfectly fine! Are you sure you're okay Kise? Yeah! Im fine! Just GOOD OLD KISE!" He hissed out as he cut a particularly deep cut. Looking down to see the puddle growing bigger, his head started spinning.

"Hey… Aomine-cchi… If your hearing this.. As if you can though. I love you. I love you. I.. love.. you." He whispers before toppling down onto the hard wooden floor, accidentally toppling over a stack of books on his table in his wake.

Aomine was standing at the rail outside Kise's apartment counting the cars that passed. He hadn't left just yet. He had a promise to keep. He sighed and re-entered the house and sat on the couch thinking where he went wrong. Hearing a particular loud thud coming from the blondes room, he stands up a bit too fast and he hits his knee on the coffee table edge. Cursing, he gets up and somewhat limps towards Kise's room. Knocking on the door, he calls out to Kise, "K-kise? You okay in there?" He says and upon not hearing a reply, he opens the door to find a blonde figure lying on the floor looking pale, his arms covered in cuts and a puddle of blood on the floor.

Kise was struggling to keep his eyes open, his eyelids drooping heavily as he fought the urge to fall unconscious. "Haha… H-hey Aomine-cchi…" He whispers quietly. Coughing a little he tastes blood and groans in discomfort. "I s-see you haven't left yet?" He chokes out, the tears in his eyes betraying him as they slid down his cheeks. "I guess… I'm dying huh?" He mumbles quietly, closing his eyes a second time and struggling to open them, let alone keep them open.

In an instant, he scoops Kise up in his arms and begins to run to the stairs, taking them down two at a time, jumping down flight by flight without missing a beat. "C'mon stay with me Kise. Don't close your eyes okay? Focus on me. Hey! Look at me!" He shouts, feeling tears sliding down his cheeks but he ignores it and runs towards the hospital that was located a kilometre away. Picking up speed, he abandons all sanity and unconsciously pushes himself into the zone, weaving his way through the crowd of people, Kise struggling to keep his eyes on Aomine as his breathing slows. "Almost there. Stay in there Kise." He whispers to the blonde, bursting into the emergency room, the nurses looking shocked for a moment before springing into action, taking Kise away from him and assuring Aomine that Kise is in good hands.

"Aominecchi…" He mumbles in his unconscious state, his mind wandering.

_He was running. He ran faster and faster. "Aominecchi!" He calls out. "Aominecchi wait for me!" He shouts quickly, still running after him. "Aominecchi wait!" No matter how fast he ran he could never catch up to him. Aomine was always a few steps ahead, around every bend, he'd be there. __**Always a few steps ahead.**__ He hated that. He hated that he was always a few steps behind. He hated it. And no matter how many times he called out for the bluenette to stop or to wait, he never did. It never stopped. Slowly coming to a stop; he hangs his head low, the version of Aomine stopping as well. __**Always a few steps ahead.**__ "You're not coming back. Your gone." _

Waking up from his sleep, he looks around the empty hospital room and then looks down at his arms which were wrapped in bandages. "Aominecchi.." He whispers before clenching the shirt above his heart. His chest felt tight for some reason, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't dismiss the feeling.

Aomine's mind wandered around as well, but his, mumbling prayers to a God that he wished would hear him. In his heart was grief as he wished that it was all just a dream. Not real. That it was just another nightmare. Slamming his head on the wall repeatedly, it was only then he realized that this was the cold reality, that he couldn't save a friend. Let alone his lover. He couldn't save everybody. Who was he to think that he was Superman? Biting his lip, he stepped into the room as he was sure the doctor wasn't there. His heart raced as he didn't know what to expect.

Kise sees the door open and silently prays that its Aomine. To whichever God heard him, he praised with all his heart and thanked him. "Aominecchi…" He says quietly, head still hung low. "What are you doing here?" He spits out, more venom in his words than expected. Wincing at his own words, he just falls back into the bed. Covering his eyes with a bandaged hand, he frantically wipes away the tears in his eyes threatening to be spilt.

Aomine ignored whatever the blonde was saying. Blood boiling as he stared at Kise's bandaged hand, he felt a pang of guilt but dismissed it. "Why?" He asks. When no reply was given, he looks back up coolly, his face not giving anything away yet the aura around him saying everything. "Why did you do it?"

"Why do you care?" Kise hissed out, turning to look the other way, refusing to face him. He was annoyed not at Aomine but himself. 'Why?.. Why am I so weak?' He asked himself in his head, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't supply himself with an answer. So instead he cried. And once again, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the tears from flowing down.

But Aomine knew. He knew how it felt to be screaming out all the pain in his chest after keeping it in for a long time. He knew how comfortable it felt after that. But seeing Kise like this? Why does it hurt so much? Staring at the male lying on the bed who was sobbing and screaming into the pillow like an asylum patient, his heart sank. "I care… Because you opened my eyes." He mumbled, unsure if the blonde would hear. Walking forward to the male, he embraced him in his arms, slamming his lips onto his, tasting both the saltiness of tears and he sweetness that somehow always accompanies that blondes lips. "Why must someone so beautiful treat themselves like this?" He whispers out.

Kise was sure that he heard Aomine say something. "Wh-Wha-?" The words died on his lips as the bluenette kissed him roughly. He hated it but loved it at the same time and resented himself for loving it. The last of the tears cascaded his face and he started to get a little angry. 'How dare he!' He thinks. "Your just saying that!" He shouts at the basketball player. "You don't know what it's like!" He yells, his bottom lip trembling slightly, tears threatening to fall again. "I never have anybody to rely on! They all end up leaving at one point or another! They USE me! Over and over and over and over the same thing!" He bitterly spits out.

"Shut up. Is not always what it seems." Aomine confesses before kissing him again, this time soft, yet bittersweet. "Some people just have a harder time trying to show it." He said, referring to himself. He had always cared about the blonde, he just never knew how to show it. Those countless nights he would stay up wondering how the model was. Was he alright? Was he eating well? How was the photo shoot today? All those questions in his head that he never asked. His heart tore in two as he heard the words the blonde spat out. Had he always felt this way? If only… If only he knew earlier….

"That's easy for you to say…" He mumbles into the kiss. Right now, he just wanted to be loved and to love. And there's only one specific person that could provide him with what he craved the most. He wanted to be loved and not by the random creepy fangirls. No. Not that way. He wanted someone to wrap their arms around him and tell him that everything is going to be okay. "Aominecchi?" He whispers, carefully picking out the words that he was going to say next. "Do you…. Love me?" He whispers barely above his voice.

"What kinda dumb question is that?" Aomine frowned. Was his actions and words not enough to show that he loved the blonde? "Of course I love you!" He gave the blonde a weak smile, kissing him on the bridge of his nose. "What made you think otherwise?" He whispers.

"A lot of things-ssu." He mumbles, dragging Aomine's face lower so he could steal another kiss from him. "Hey Aominecchi?" he says looking up and him and seeing Aomine do the 'carry on' gesture, he takes a deep breath and exhales.

"Stay. Don't leave me. Hold me tight and never let me go. I need you. I need your love. I could die without you. Don't shut the door. Never leave. Your mine and mine alone. Love me even if it hurts."

* * *

**AN: **

**Oh god this took me forever to write. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed because my fingers hurt ^^", as usual, Fave and reveiw! :D This is a one shot btw. Anyways, love ya c: Ill be continuing my other series soon so stay put guys c: **


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